8.03.2005

where to?

One day, quite a long time ago, I knew I would fall in love.
You just know it, I guess.
You had seen it it in the movies,
Read about in the mandatory school reading, in the summer reading,
After all... you see it in peoples faces... it just happens...
So I did.
The first time, I was just a little bit too soon, and the last time, it was just too late...
I imagine it will happen again, but I must caution you against it.
I am not good at love.
I burn, and when I don't burn inside of me, I burn others as if I was in a frantic witch hunt and you're my warlock...
It takes a spell and wicked words to cast me to the ground.
It takes evil and corrupted means to pull me under...
But when I came to think about it, it doesn’t take that much after all...
Spells are words not easily heard, but some have the talent to cast them...
Evil and corruption lies within my breast, and any one with life running in their veins and a little experience in misfiting can easily stroke my weakest point...

I do, however, caution you against it...
For when I foretell,
One of us is crying,
One of us is speechless,
And both are weakening in love...

Fulfilment has had the best of me, and I have reached the point of unsatisfaction.
Deception and lies have certainly taken the best of my largest living days and I was not looking for love.

So, if it does happen to pass my way, what do I do?
If lying in your arms, makes me peaceful, should I settle for nothing less?
If I still remember the shiver of my skin as you inadvertently touched my leg, should I assume I might fall?
I am without prejudice other that that I have lived in love before... and when you met me, my sweet guardian angel, I thought to little of love, I guard him no respect, love is overvalued...

But I’m, curiously enough, willing to try...
I miss your company, though that makes no sense to me...
I want your kisses, but nor for the kissing, for the intimacy...

I do not trust my self and I do warn you against such lack of suspicion:
Always doubt me.
However if the day comes for me to say some foolish words (you know which) I will mean them...
But I meant them before,
And I went from loving in love straight to just falling.
I pick myself up, and resume the course of live.
I am struggling to survive and a cold heart is an excellent weapon.
Be careful, for both of us.
I will be absent for the next few days, the gods will provide distraction and temptation;
They will, I’m sure, give me means to understand whether or not this is white or black magic... the cast you spelled.
And coming the next week I long to be in your arms again, to awake by your side, to ear your tell me about your day...
But only time will tell.
Where to?